6) You’re too good for him/her.
If that’s the case, why’d they break up with me? And if that were true, I wouldn’t be crying on your shoulder, hon.
5) I didn’t like him/her anyway.
Yeah, well, thanks. That’ll really cheer them up. (While this might seem like a way to cheer up your friend, it doesn’t help. At all.)
4) We all knew it would happen eventually.
Seriously? Seriously? Who says that? Gee, thanks for the warning. This is pretty much a huge slap in the face. You might as well say “I told you so” and be done with it.
3) We were all wondering how long your relationship would last.
Were you all placing bets, too?
2) Maybe you can still be friends?
For love of all that is good do not ever say this. Some people may want to stay friends with their ex, but for the dump-ee this is highly unlikely.
1) Yeah, well, life sucks and then you die.
…I don’t even know what to say in this case. Except that I’d probably punch the person’s lights out.
To all the dumpees out there- I’m sorry if your friends are this stupid. Truly, I am.
(Maybe some advice would help?
http://skylarwishwash33.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Get-Over-a-Breakup-A-Few-Tips-From-a-Dumpee